Nein, hier gibt’s keinen Test! Denn ich glaube nicht, dass die Antwort auf diese komplexe Fragestellung „Liebe ich ihn noch?“ durch 10 unspezifische Fragen von einem Programm beantwortet werden kann. Denn Liebe ist viel mehr als Schmetterlinge und ein warmes Gefühl von Verbundenheit. Ob Du bei mir eine Antwort auf Dein Herzensanliegen bekommst? Finde es heraus…
74% der deutschen glauben an die Liebe für’s Leben. Das ergab eine Umfrage aus dem Jahre 2016 (Quelle: Statista).
Glaubst auch Du an die Liebe für’s Leben?
Was ist das überhaupt?
Diese… „Liebe“!
Und hast Du die „Liebe Deines Lebens“ gerade an Deiner Seite?
Meine Inspirationsquelle
Ich las vor kurzem ein sehr spannendes Buch über die Liebe*. Der Autor Michael Mary hat mich in seinen über 200 Seiten enorm inspiriert. Ich habe dadurch meine vergangen Partnerschaften und auch meine aktuelle Beziehung besser einordnen können. Ich möchte Dir daher in diesem Artikel Marys Hauptgedanken – so wie ich sie verstehe – näher bringen. Sie werden garantiert auch Dir helfen, Deine Beziehung ganz neu zu bewerten. Und nebenbei eine Antwort auf Deine Frage geben: „Liebe ich ihn noch?“
„Die Langzeitpaare leben das Optimum dessen, was Ihnen miteinander möglich ist,
anstatt alles voneinander haben zu wollen, was sie sich erträumen.“
[Michael Mary]
Die Perspektive ist entscheidend
Mary schreibt von zwei verschiedenen Perspektiven, die Paare einnehmen können. Die Partner- und die Beziehungs-Perspektive. In der Partner-Perspektive konzentrieren Paare sich darauf, was sie voneinander haben wollen. Sie orientiert sich an den Idealen, Vorgaben und Wünschen, die jeder einzelne hat. Die Beziehungs-Perspektive konzentriert sich darauf, was Partner miteinander haben können. Der entscheidende Faktor für langanhaltende Beziehungen sei demnach, den Fokus auf das zu lenken, was dem Paar miteinander möglich sei. Doch welche Formen der Liebe können Paare miteinander leben?
Apropos Ideale.. noch eine Anmerkung von meiner Seite: die meisten Ideale und Erwartungen an den Partner sind vollkommener *Hollywood*-Bullshit! Übertrieben unrealistisch!! Glaube diesen Streifen kein Wort und keine Szene! Wenn Hollywood von einer „normalen Partnerschaft“ berichten würde, würde es sich niemand anschauen wollen. Deshalb ist das Thema dort so überzogen dargestellt. Denk mal drüber nach…
„Lebt die Liebe, die ihr habt“
Das ist Marys Appel. Doch was meint er damit?
Mary schreibt von 3 Formen der Liebe. Und das Geheimnis der Langzeitbeziehungen sei nicht, dass die Partner immer alles richtig machen. Sondern dass sie die Formen der Liebe leben, die sie verbindet. Jede Beziehung sei anders. Die Liebe, die ein Paar verbindet, hat nach Mary drei verschiedene Aspekte. Den freundschaftlichen, den partnerschaftlichen und den emotional-leidenschaftlichen Aspekt. Diese seien unterschiedlich stark ausgeprägt. Und bilden somit eine ganz individuelle Qualität der Liebe. Die Frage ist also nicht „Liebe ich ihn noch?“ sondern vielmehr „In welcher Liebesform liebe ich ihn noch?“.
Liebe ich ihn noch?
Bei einem Gleichgewicht aller Liebesformen würde der Schwerpunkt Deiner Liebe genau in der Mitte des Dreiecks liegen.
Dein Partner hat wahrscheinlich einen anderen Schwerpunkt als Du. Das ist nicht schlimm, sondern ganz normal! Es kann sogar eine gute Grundlage für ein intensives Gespräch zwischen euch bieten und euch Potenzial aufzeigen, zu wachsen.
Im Laufe dieses Artikels wirst Du schon einen ersten Eindruck bekommen haben, welche Liebesformen bei Dir überwiegen. Und auch spürst Du schon, wo Du Dich ungefähr mit der Qualität Deiner Liebe befindest. Fehlen ein oder zwei Liebesformen sogar ganz? Im Kapitel „Die eigene Beziehung wertschätzen“ wirst Du ganz genau Deinen Schwerpunkt bestimmen können und findest heraus, welchen Wert Deine Beziehung für Dich hat. Spätestens dann kannst Du Deine Frage „Liebe ich ihn noch?“ eindeutig für Dich beantworten!
Hast Du Dich schonmal gefragt „Wer der wichtigste Mensch in Deinem Leben ist?„
Fazit
Falls Du mich in 10 Jahren fragst, was Liebe ist… Meine Antwort wird garantiert anders lauten als heute! Im Jahre 2018, am 17. Juli, kann ich mich mit den den Aspekten der Liebe identifizieren, die Mary beschreibt. Und dennoch möchte ich einen weiteren Punkt betonen: Liebe ist individuell. Das, was ich als Liebe definiere, ist für Dich noch lange nicht Liebe.
„Liebe ist … wenn Du es willst.“ [Kristin Agness]
Laut Mary liegt der Trick nicht darin, das (von Deinem Partner) zu bekommen, was in der Beziehung fehlt! Es geht darum, sich mit den Liebesformen zu arrangieren, die eure Partnerschaft euch bietet. Es geht darum, die Perspektive zu ändern. Denn dann könnt ihr es zu einem sogenannten „Langzeitpaar“ schaffen!
Alternativ kann es sich meiner Meinung nach lohnen, genau hinzusehen. WAS genau fehlt Dir in der Beziehung? Und.. gibst Du Dir das selbst?
Denn oft sehnen wir uns genau danach ganz besonders, was wir uns selbst nicht geben..
Wenn Dir dieser Artikel gefallen hat, dann empfehle ich Dir tatsächlich, das Buch zu kaufen und das Thema in aller Tiefe weiter zu durchleuchten.
Sei es Dir wert, eine glückliche Beziehung zu haben!
Mach was draus! Ich zähl auf Dich, Du wundervolles Wesen!
Ein Herz voller Liebe für Dich.
Deine Kristin | ExDramaQueen
* Werbung: Ich bekomme durch diesen Link eine kleine Provision. Und Du musst keinen einzigen Cent mehr zahlen.
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